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Dating Tips for the Average Joe

Have you ever sat across from someone over dinner and wondered what she was thinking? Was she enjoying your company? Will there be a second date? Or are you preparing to finally have a first date with your long time crush this weekend? Many men enter the dating world without much knowledge of what they should do or how they should act. Whether they’ve seen older sisters date, received advice from their mothers or watched romantic movies to learn the ropes, dating can still be a mystery to the average man. So here are five full-proof ways for the average man to impress his date and walk away knowing that there will be a second one…

1. Be clear and forthcoming in your expectations. Whether it’s a blind date, second date, or random chance meeting , be who you are and be clear in what you are looking for; do you want a short-term fling? are you seeking a travel companion? or are you looking for a long-term commitment? It’s important that the two of you on a date know each other’s intentions. This way you will be more likely to get exactly what you want. Sara once went on a date with an older guy who told her pretty early on during their first date that he was looking for a wife. Young Sara knew right away that his expectations were far beyond what she was ready to give. But his honest approach allowed both of them to move on, no feelings hurt, and soon they both found what they found they were looking for from other people.

2. Don’t forget about grooming and hygiene. First impressions are everything and so is maintaining that positive image. Show up with clean clothes. No PB & J stains on your shirt. Don’t forget about your shoes. No need to polish them, but your date will notice if they are covered in mud from your weekend with the boys. Wash your hands and scrub those fingernails. While we don’t have total control over our given physical looks, we do have control over how we present ourselves. So do yourself a favor- respect yourself and your look as it shows that you will respect her too. There’s no need to be metrosexual but it is certainly important to take your hygiene seriously. We can’t ignore what may be the most important thing to influence your date’s impression of you- how you smell. They say that our sense of smell is linked to our emotions. You don’t want to over do the cologne but don’t forget that a sense of smell can be the biggest turn on, or turn off. After all, too much of a good thing is not a good thing.

3. Compliment your date. A few kind words have never hurt anyone. Just like you, your date probably took extra care with her appearance when preparing for your date together, so you’d want to let her know that you’ve taken notice. “That’s a beautiful dress on you,” or “… what a great smile you have”, or simply compliment her great taste in restaurants if she chose the place. Have you ever felt really tense but then someone’s compliment broke the ice and made you warm up to them? Well, if you want to warm your date’s heart and see her again, leave her feeling good with a sincere compliment.

4. Be a gentleman. Going with the theme of making a good impression, show your date that you have impeccable manners. Be chivalrous! Surely, you’ve heard of opening doors and pulling out chairs but oh, there’s more. How you speak and carry yourself is a reflection of who you are, as are how you treat wait staff, valet and other service people whom you may come across. Your date is definitely paying attention to how you treat others on your date. Jane wasn’t completely sold on whether she would want to see Brian again, but when she came back from powdering her nose in the ladies’ room, she noticed Brian speaking to the bus boy in his native language. That is, her date was trying to learn how to say “Thank You” in the staff’s native language and it gave Jane an extra sense of reassurance about Brian’s character.

5. Leave your date wanting more. You don’t want to show all your cards so- to- speak. If you are genuinely interested in continuing to date the person whom you are with, leave her wanting to get to know you more. In other words, don’t perform a monologue about everything you’ve seen, done or accomplished too early, otherwise what’s left to get to know about you? Keep a little mystery and intrigue about yourself. The same is true in terms of affection; don’t give too much too soon. If you give away “the goods” from the start, not only will your date think you are a player, but what will they think about your intentions, unless that is what your intentions are and you’ve communicated them (see tip#1). On a memorable first date, what the guy did really well is exactly leaving me with wanting more. We shared our past but didn’t divulge too much. After our dinner, we listened to music in his car, but he still wouldn’t kiss me (He read about this in his Double Your Dating Guide . I didn’t understand it because I know he was having a good time too, but his sense of control and his ability to keep my interest made our first kiss on our second date that much better. Today, I am married to this guy.

In conclusion, these pieces of advice are applicable to any Joe on the street who is looking to woo his dream girl or just make the most of a blind date. You don’t need to make six figures, nor have wash-board abs; you simply need to realize what your assets are and make them work for you. Figure out what you are looking for and be clear about what you want. Take pride in your appearance. Be generous with your compliments. Be her knight in shining armor and pique her interest by leaving her with wanting more. Happy dating!

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